The view on the Moors and foreign land.

Thirty cars queue to turn left at a roundabout. I'm having none of it, so I go into the right hand lane, go around the entire roundabout and then take the left hand exit. And in that time, only two other cars managed to turn left. I always find it amazing that people will just sit there like sheep.

Today I drove at 60 mph for thirteen seconds, with no hands. Unnecessarily insane achievement of the day. Time to find something more sensible to do.

But before that happened, I drove past a WV Polo. Nothing unusual about that. Except that this particular Polo had a yellow wing. And a red bonnet. A green roof and a purple door. Not idea what the boot looked like as I was too busy not crashing my car.

I'm now nearly at Scotland. I passed a road earlier through the Moors, that was so beautiful I had to stop atop the hill to soak in the atmosphere. Even today as I close my eyes, I can still see the scene unfold before me. The solitary road continued down the hill, disappearing with a flick to the left. The hills ahead, varying in colour and size dot the horizon. A large, bushy row of trees shoots of to the right, whilst the sun sparkled through the middle, emphasising the purple heather, which swayed gently in the welcomed breeze.

It's moments like this that make me wish I had both a decent camera, and the ability to use it. I decided to have a nap, so I could spend more time here, waking only when the midday sun had turned the car into an oven.

Continuing my quest north, I finally crossed into Scotland.

And the first thing I see is a giant Walmart, dressed up like Asda. Yes, I know they own Asda, but that is besides the point. Now I really feel like I'm in another country. I decided to investigate. The first 'unusual' thing was the African people. Lots and lots of them. Not Barking and Dagenham levels, but noticeable enough, considering the swathes of white land, I had just travelled through. Shame really. The food was different too. Obviously there was a haggis section, shockingly it was almost as big as the 'ham section' in London. The most awesome thing I observed? The sausage shaped like bread. I can't remember what it's called, but they were everywhere, and what could go wrong with sausage shaped like bread? Apart from the fact that I can't eat bread.

Welcome back to the journey...

Today I went to view Helmsley and Pickering Castle. I had spent the previous night sleeping near the entrance, so was the first visiting human to arrive. The employed human was very friendly and we spent an hour talking about the other local[ish] castles, and she showed me all of her personal guidebooks. Some were rather interesting, and some you'd want a refund for. She then proceeded to tell me all about the bats living in the tower, and how wonderf... before she could even finish her sentence I stopped her right there, thank her for the chat, checked the perimeter and told her it was time to leave. I don't have time for death on wings. Back to the road.

Was in a town [somewhere]  and a Co-Op HGV driver started talking to me. Not in a crazy way, he was blocking the road - in a crazy way. Anyhoo, he told me all about his job, which was fascinating. Imagine that, being paid to drive and there is a mini-bed on board! As usual he was totally bemused by my story and so we spend the next 45 minutes fascinated by each others stories. I may have to look into this HGV driving business, according to Jim-Bob, they'll be a lot of work as the government is adding a new legalisation, that all the old people are to scared to apply for in case they fail and lose their license. But, if I was paid to drive, would I hate driving?

I'm now driving through Yorkshire and the views are astounding. There is a steam train which runs through the Moors. I love trains. I don't know if I love trains or castles more. They each have their moments. At one point I used to go train spotting. I went into the station to investigate - mainly because one of the whistle-holders let me sneak in so I could watch the train depart. That was taking a while, so I went to the ticket office to check the price. It was £22. I took a moment to compose myself. I should have anticipated that shock, but I was unprepared. In an attempt to calm down I turned my face away from the price list, only to be confronted by 100g of 'penny sweets' for £2.50. That did not help. I don't overly like steam trains, preferring modern trains, especially in SWT livery. But nevertheless I went to see the departure. It was massive, slow to move, noisy and dirty. Not my idea of fun, and as soon as it moved 2 feet, I left. What? I'd seen it move, what more do I need to see.

After the excitement of the morning, and walking for ages back to the car, I carried on. I really should remember that if I walk down a hill, I need to walk back up it. You'd think after the 199 steps fiasco, I'd remember.

Today was another day where I needed to sleep laying down, so I searched for somewhere to stay. Off of the main road, off the side road, off the residential road, on a dirt track, I found a camp site. It was only £6 a night. That should have been my first clue. Nothing good was ever found for £6. The toilet was decorated with spiders. Not a war of the walls decoration, but it was fast approaching a barracks. It was disgusting. I always wear flip-flips in public places, but I think even nasty people would want protection from these floors. The sink emptied into a pipe, that dropped into a trough under the sink, and if you weren't careful, would splash on your legs. And believe it or not, people paid to house their private caravans on this site. And boy, do these people get excited. There were fences, gazebos, tables, chairs, pavement, decking, lights fake animal decorations, gates, hanging baskets, pot plants, wind-chimes, windmills and pets. And of course, lots of poor looking white people.

After that experience, today is the day I decided to make haste to Scotland. I want to go home. I'm tired, and my back hurts.